No, no April Fool’s trick from me. Can’t top Monterey County Weekly’s cover story today. See here:
“It was a bound, four-color, 156-page report, wrapped by a high-gloss cover featuring a picture of a heavily loaded pack mule carrying water and other supplies, crossing Bixby Bridge, and led by a young couple. The photo caught her attention because it was not historical but contemporary, and the adventurers were dressed in straight-leg jeans and hipster jackets. Mostly it was their footwear that stood out – Wool Runners from Allbirds. These were Bay Area computer geeks crossing the famous bridge, not frontiersmen.
The report had a big red stamp across its cover: “DO NOT CIRCULATE. FOR PRIVATE REVIEW ONLY.” Naturally, Waters opened it to discover its contents.
Inside was a shocking plan, recently agreed to by the top leadership of Caltrans, Cal Fire, big insurance companies, REI, the Marriott, Joby Aviation (based in Marina) and the Association for Horsemen of Northern California. (On the draft viewed by the Weekly, several potential backers’ names were crossed out with a black Sharpie – those still viewable under a thick black line are Ventana Big Sur, California State Parks, the U.S. Forest Service and Community Association of Big Sur.)”